January 2010
1 post
Just a quick update;
been nearly 2 months since i came online. just felt like i needed to update on how my life was going. ive never felt more alone. i have so many supporters standing at my shoulders yet i still feel at a loss. i have lost the ability to use my right hand, and my ability to walk is gone. despite the hearing unclearly and the gain of weight, losing my legs strength has been the hardest. i feel like...
November 2009
3 posts
life has been lots of struggling lately. just losing my hair was alot, i lost my balance too. cant walk, at all. ronnilyn, jerome, and jeremy were here earlier too. seeing jerome and jeremy was overwhelming, theyre so grown. feelings did sprout when i saw jeremy, he looks well. i have alotta leftover feelings but time will sweep them up. i miss living. ive lost so much, i cant really be happy...
Will you still love me in the wreck of it all?
If i gained weight. If i lost my hair. If i lost all that made me beautiful. Would you still love me?
If i couldnt walk anymore. If i lost all ability to move. If i was unable to write. Would you still love me?
If i only have tomorrow. Do you still love me?
a lot more tired this week, even though ive been sleeping a lot. headaches and nausea feelings are back also. i realize a lot of my life was a waste, and that my life sucked, even when i didnt have cancer. my biggest regret? not ever taking chances. ive never ice skated, or went horseback riding. ive never went go karting, or tried something new just because. if i could start my life over, it...
i hate being online, idky. i just do. blogging everyday about how my life is going? not gonnna happen, lol. im just gonna blog when its necessary and important. todays halloween, we all get to go out and i guess i have to disguise myself very well so no one recognizes me. im still not comfortable being seen. i gained like 25 pounds, or w/e! the steroids have made me all puffed up and fugly, even...
October 2009
6 posts
October 29th 2009
the laptop just crashed, stupid shit. i dont feeel like typing what i just typed again so ill sum it up. miss audri, audri cant go trick or treating, i dont feeel like going if shes not, holidays arent going to be the same this year, lost half of my hearing, tired, going to go to sleep. miss audri too much.
btw; stop asking for my number, its stilll the same. i just dont have a phone and i...
12300.) i feel like i'm falling away from my...
(via blogsecret)
October 28th 2009
So im going to start blogging about how things are going so you dont have to ask me. lol. head is shaved, still cant use right hand, still cant see well, still having to use wheelchair. audri has the swine flu, im worried sick. i guess we are going to missss halloween this year.. i cant be around audri so im stuck in this room for 2 weeks, until aaudri’s okay again. im praying for her....
“A stupid mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won’t hurt...”
– Unknown (via littlemiss)
10696.) I think everyone is forgetting about me....
(via blogsecret)
September 2009
6 posts
im sooo tired of being there for everyone else.
lately my life sucks. im in a wheelchair, taking homeschool, hairs falling out like a mofo’, at least 20 pills a day, nothings been my way. Im tryna cut off all connection with everyone, i just dont wanna deal with all the bs. i have enough problems in my life, and they still expect me to carry their weight too. none of them know what im going through right now. i wish i was normal, but im...
Everyones out looking for love. Love this. Love...
9906.) I feel like the only person in the world...
(via blogsecret)
9974.) I know that being understanding is a good...
(via blogsecret)
“You change for two reasons: either you learn enough that you want to or you’ve...”
– Unknown (via littlemiss)
9983.) I wish they knew what it felt like to be...
(via blogsecret)
August 2009
240 posts
I kind of just want everyone to stop smothering...
everyone was all up in my grill yesterday, i constantly was moving to my room just for a little air. i was really tired but i tried my hardest to stay awake. photo taking today with mommy, chloe, and oum. then maybe out to go do my nails+ watch a movie. might go shopping too, for the kids sneaks and a couple of dvds. my wheelchair arrived for bu sambor, so im using that today. i havent felt myself...
9530.) i was too ashamed to say i love you so i...
(via blogsecret)
I dont necessarily feel this way. but it’s close.
9554.) i love helping my friend's get through...
(via blogsecret)
“I seem to have a thing for things that aren’t too good for me.” “Who says I’m...”
– Dandelion (via sleepanddream) (via lovebot) (via quote-book)
9604.) I refresh my myspace over and over, just...
(via blogsecret)
9487.) i'm so sick of the secrets that are like...
(via blogsecret)
“I’m kind of at the point, where I want to delete all means of internet...”
– (via genabeat)
That’s some true shit girl [:
(via tellytothe) (via monsterkristina)
“There is a sort of demon that every now and then makes you want to destroy...”
– Catherine Deneuve (via potensxsui)
Hope you're excited to see me in a wheelchair the...
Im only going to get an education, and no matter how humiliated Ill feel rolling around school like a disabled dumbshit, i dont want to give a fuck. so im not going to give a fuck. Thats how bad its gotten, went to the hospital today. some more new meds+ more hair might fall out. ]; yay. i forgot what the pills were for already. also, have to get eye drops to heilp dry my mouth out, possible...
this shark thing is really annoying, its like, “no one really fuckin cares about the popularity of cats and sharks. get the fuck over it!” lately, been feeling like i have to deal with too much kiddy behavior, im dying over annoyance here. and everyones all into this love shit, just makes me think, “youre only fuckin 13! what the fuck is wrong with you?? love comes and goes,...
I'm tired of everyone talking about love this,...
“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You’re chicken. You got no...”
– Breakfast At Tiffany’s (via quotewhore)
I need to get a hold of Ronnilyn, but Ryan nor Ronnilyn are picking up their phones. Butt cracks >.< Already talked to Kaylyna, so I feeel a bit better. I feel hella tired, so i might take a nap. Hopefully, I can just relax today. y’know? Moms gonna help me get rid of all the stuffed animals Jeremy gave to me, today. I feel like it takes up too much room on my bed. They’re not...
I love you, and whenever you need someone to talk...
Today was better, im glad. Social worker/ nurse came over around 11, and asked a bunch of questions about Shawn, my friends, school. She even bought me a vanilla latte’, yum. I was satisfied. Opened up a bit. Told her how I felt about Shawn, “Even though he’s my dad I dont understand why he deserves to be involved.” and “I think he’s a douchebag.”...
"They're ALL boys."
And that’s what my mama told me, and so far.. she’s right.
I'm SOO glad you've moved on.
Hearing stuff has been annoying me. My ears feel...
PRINNCES!
fuckyeahprinnces:
myliness22:
fuckyeahprinnces:
myliness22:
I have a question for you. How do i manage all of my blog posts? i forgot. ?
What do you mean? lol
like… show all the tumblr posts? and like edit them, or delete them
HMM, on the right. under ‘Dashboard - Following _ people & Liked _ posts” is your tumblr username. click that. above your url. and all your posts will be...
I used to be trippin' bout missin' you but I'm not...
PRINNCES!
fuckyeahprinnces:
myliness22:
I have a question for you. How do i manage all of my blog posts? i forgot. ?
What do you mean? lol
like… show all the tumblr posts? and like edit them, or delete them
PRINNCES!
I have a question for you. How do i manage all of my blog posts? i forgot. ?
Here's to my unhappiness.
yesterday, church people came over to pray and shit for me. I did not want to be there. They sang some christian songs and kept touching my forehead saying stuff like amen and thank god. The priest also rubbed some religious oil all over my head, at that point I was really heated. I hate when I have to go through that shit just to make everyone else to stop worrying and to reassure THEM. The whole...
My life is so fucked up its not even funny. I am...
9274.) no matter what my hair looks like and no...
(via blogsecret)
9226.) I secretly want to be the girl who smokes,...
fuckyeahprinnces:
blogsecret:
The girl who has the money to buy whatever she wants, and gets to do what she loves. The girl who does all this and still has a beautiful soul. I want to live life and have fun, even if I am broken inside. As I am, I’m not living life and having fun but I’m still broken inside.
9292.) I want to believe that I have a beautiful...
(via blogsecret)
9296.) we used to be inseparable. we used to be...
(via blogsecret)
9302.) I've only ever been called "cute" by guys....
(via blogsecret)
“The most beautiful people we have known are those
who have known defeat, known...”
– Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (via gatekeeper) (via quote-book)
The world annoys the hell out of me.
We're not compatible anymore. I can't call you my...
I remember when I used to believe in fair fights...