Just trying to hold onto faith is hard right now.
i hate being online, idky. i just do. blogging everyday about how my life is going? not gonnna happen, lol. im just gonna blog when its necessary and important. todays halloween, we all get to go out and i guess i have to disguise myself very well so no one recognizes me. im still not comfortable being seen. i gained like 25 pounds, or w/e! the steroids have made me all puffed up and fugly, even im tryna avoid the mirror. i dont need to see what ive become. only thing i havent lost are my eyes, thank goodness. hopefully, ill get better and the doctors will let me off the meds. im taking like 20 a day! if i ever get better.. i lost my hair, which was really impoortant to me, it wasnt easy having to see it all go either. im losing body hair too, my legs have never looked so bare. which is the only good thing i guess. i need to lose this weight too!!!! real bad. i have so many fuckin stretchmarks too! it doesnt feel right cussing either, hella has changed. i was watching naruto last night, if i ever get better im going out and buying all the mangas and dvds, idgaf, i know better now. best advice you could ever get?live life to the fullest and never wait for change, make it happen. lately, been fantasizing about a perfect life, thats been my entertainment lately. audri’s better, shes so cute and happy. lol. always brightening my day. i wouldnt change her for the world. need to go pee, bye.
